Flour and Hours

Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love birthdays.  Not just my own special month of February, but other's birthdays too.  Maybe that makes me a little Filipina already because I hear they love to celebrate Birthdays in the Philippines.

In April I celebrated my sister’s birthday in a significant way for us to commemorate the day and also to remember the last of her birthdays that I would get to spend with her for while.

In July, my best friend had a birthday.  She lives in Virginia and I had planned to go down to spend her whole birthday week with her whether she liked it or not.  Instead, by God’s providence, she was able to spend her whole birthday week here in Maryland because of work obligations.  I was so excited you would have thought it was my birthday week!  I got to spend more time with her that week than I had been able to spend with her in years.  As I approached her actual birthday day and I was preparing to go spend the whole day with her I realized I had not given her a tangible gift for her special day; nothing to commemorate the occasion.  I began to think about what I could give her.  I don’t really have anything of value.  Nothing I could buy would be special enough. I didn’t have the money to treat my best friend to an exotic get-away or even a day at the spa together.  All I really have right now is my time; which is oh so precious these days. 

As the hours tick away, and the clock is winding down to our departure for the mission field it is time that has the most value.  Although I’m not planning on dying any time soon, Lord willing, and I do plan to come home to visit; I suspect things will be different when I return.  For instance, if things go according to our plans when we return for a visit Isaac will be in high school, one of my nieces will have graduated, I will probably have a few more wrinkles and possibly even some gray hairs (although I’ll never let you see them!).  If things go according to our plans we’ll have great successes from the mission field but also even greater struggles to share.  We’ll have sweet times of fellowship to share with our friends and family when we return but we will never be the same. 

All of this brings me back to this time right now.  Though we have great technology like Skype and Facebook, we will be far apart and in different cultures.  As the hours pass, I think about being changed by experiences and wonder how you will be different and how I will be different.  It leads me to think that our time is the most precious thing we have to give right now.

So . . .. flour, what about flour?

We’re leaving for pre-field training in about 7 weeks.  We will be off the grid for 6 weeks and then, Lord willing, shortly after that we will be on a plane to Manila. 

SO, right now, I’m out of flour.  I realized it today.  Usually it takes me about 4-6 months to go through a bag of flour. But, I don’t plan to be here in 4-6 months.

Now I know flour is a little thing to think about.  I know it only costs a few dollars to buy a bag of flour to hold us over until we leave.  I know that whatever I don’t use I can give to my sister.  But that’s how my brain works.  The flour is not the point.  Flour has caused me to think about the time that I have left here as the woman, wife, mother, sister and friend that I know myself to be right now. 

How do we finish well while we are still in the states? Stock the pantry or give it all away?

What is the best use of the time we have left?  We’ve got to meet new friends and raise support or we can’t leave.  At the same time, there are so many that we want to see as we start to say our goodbyes.

In the end, our time is not our own.  I’m not looking for answers, just thinking about the little things like flour and hours.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12